Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
no you cant smoke seaweed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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