Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
