Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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