Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
