i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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