My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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