literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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