Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
