please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
