If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
