The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Say something about gay babies.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
