dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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