Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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