Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
