he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
