i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
