the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fuck appropriateness.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize