I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
