Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
