k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Someone signed my nipple.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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