apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
