He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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