lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
