oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
