he puts the penis in happiness.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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