One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
