We won't sleep together?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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