this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
