All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
