It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
