You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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