Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
