Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
