I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize