Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
