i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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