I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize