i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
