I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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