Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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