I'm really into asian looking animals
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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