feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
