Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize