super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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