Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
