they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
