I wish I could teleport
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
