if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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