glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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