Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
