I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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