have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
