You can't special order awesome
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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