All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
