You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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