Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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