i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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