She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
NoShamevember. You game?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize