Everything about him screamed your future.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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