I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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