Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
