Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
